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Ten tips on Things to do With Your Children When You Only Have a Few Hours
Ten Tips on Sharing Time With Your Children
Content courtesy of Your Divorce Advisor

Overview
A Parenting Plan for divorcing couples is made of two components. An agreement on parenting time, which has replaced the court terms: "custody","visitation" and child support. (Before any agreements can be reached however, first the parents must establish the type of custody. It is very important to realize that none of the types of custody guarantee either parent any parental advantage. There must be a certain level of trust eventually established between the parents for any plan to work regardless of the label of custody that the parents choose.) Within these there are several items that each couple should address. A mediator will guide the couple through this maze showing them the strengths and weaknesses of any existing agreements they may have and help them find common ground on areas of conflict. Both parents will also need to attend a divorce education class through the courts.

Parenting Time: Weekly and Holidays
There are basically two ways of looking at parenting time agreements. On one side there is the very rigid and structured plan, which might use the Utah State Statutes and Guidelines to plan the time each parent will spend with the children. These guidelines account for several variables such as the age of the child and long distance visitation restrictions. One obvious advantage of using this as a way to determine your parenting time as it provides ultra structure. This may also be the biggest disadvantage. A very rigid parenting time plan for both weekly and holiday parenting time often does not account for the best needs of the child and also makes it very difficult to factor in the day to day dynamics of surprises and unexpected needs for change.

On the other side there is a very flexible or laid back approach in determining weekly and holiday parenting time. While this may seem to require less work on the part of the parent and provide the most freedom it is actually the inverse. A very flexible plan will require a heightened level of communication. This usually means adding a degree of structure and planning on a monthly or even weekly basis to discuss the needs of the children factoring in work schedules and availability of the parents. The best parenting plans seem to be somewhere in the middle favoring the flexible side.



Transportation
Both parents need to talk about how the transportation of the children will be divided for the day to day needs of the children, to and from each parents home and in the event that one parent is living a greater distance then the transportation agreement will need to take that into account. Generally both parents are encouraged to try to share in the costs and time obligation as equitably as possible however, the parents may agree to any variation they feel will best suit their situation.

Right to Move
This can be one of the most volatile issues and can cause a great deal of conflict in a parenting plan. This issue is probably the single most common reason for custody disputes. In mediation the mediators will discuss what a long distance move by one of the parents can do to a parenting plan and how to avoid conflict.

Parenting Behavior and Expectations
Over the past several years we have conferred with several seasoned attorneys and judges and talked about what causes problems with divorced parents. We have identified several simple statements that build a foundation for a successful parenting plan if followed. In mediation the mediators go over each of these in detail to help the couple understand what it takes to be successful parents in spite of the divorce. This is the most important part of the mediation.

Child Support
Most of the agreements that have to be reached in any divorce have a high level of flexibility and the courts will let most couples tailor agreement to suit their needs without much intervention from the courts. However one aspect of the divorce agreement that has little if any room for negotiation is child support. The state uses a formula to determine child support based on both parents gross monthly income. The child support payment is to cover food, shelter and clothing only for the children.

There are two costs that offset child support. Medical insurance premiums for the children and work or school related childcare. These costs are normally split 50/50 with the adjustments being calculated into the base child support. It is important that both parents understand how child support is determined. For further discussion on this please refer to the report "Child support....the reality" and the Utah state statute. This is all discussed in the mediation as well. The mediators will help the couple determine the amount of support, the duration of support for each child (which is usually until they are 18 years old), the day support will be paid, and the mandatory garnishment provision

Children Medical Insurance
Both parents will need to discuss the insurance needs for the children and should discuss how to ensure the best coverage for the lowest cost.

Out of Pocket Medical Costs
These are costs not covered in the child support payments. These include co pays, deductibles, prescriptions, elective procedures, dental, vision or any other medical expense not covered by insurance. The mediators will help the couple discuss these costs and tailor an agreement that best suits their situation.

Extra Curricular Expenses
These are costs not covered in the child support payments. These include sports fees, music lessons, club fees, etc. The mediators will help the couple discuss these costs and tailor an agreement that best suites their situation.

Child Care
Both parents will need to discuss and agree on childcare issues including who the childcare provider will be and the costs. The mediators will help the couple discuss these costs and tailor an agreement that best suits their situation.

Children Savings Accounts
The courts do not mandate that the parents have an agreement on savings accounts but if the couple would like to include an agreement to cover this the mediators will help them do so.

College Expenses
The courts do not mandate that the parents have an agreement on college expenses for the children but if the couple would like to include an agreement to cover this then the mediators will help them do so.

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